I really don’t have much time to put together a post today, so this is going to have to be very short and sweet. However, I really wanted to mark something that is somewhat momentous…and share with you all how stupid I am feeling just now. After seven good years of writing, it has suddenly, finally occurred to me that this blog has had the wrong emphasis all along. Instead on focusing on finding an outstanding spouse, it would make a lot more sense to focus on becoming an outstanding spouse!
Is this really obvious?! Has this thought predictably occurred to anyone who has spent any real time reading this blog?!!! I am so sorry for being so slow to see this; I am sorry for taking so much of all your time in writing so endlessly without ever realising that encouraging most people to better their own sweet selves would be the single quickest way to solve most people’s marital issues.
To be fair to myself, part of the reason why this has never occurred to me is because this blog is largely about me; when I talk about “Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie” I’m primarily talking about my own very real search. And then, with some justification I hope, I’ve largely been quite confident that I will be an excellent wife, due largely to the sincerity and intensity of my pursuit of Christ and Christ-like character. And also the amount of time I’ve spent thinking about these things! So my thinking has for so long been (and I know that this might likely sound really, really awful) – “Well I’m sure that I am going to be excellent – but the question is, will he measure up?!”
However, now that this way of thinking has finally occurred to me, I’m really excited to grasp it and run with it. I am excited to move beyond my own assumptions of my own future wifely excellence to truly challenge myself with extremely robust standards. And I invite you all for the journey with me – let us encourage one another to be the best we can be. I’m aiming that this will be a gentle, gracious and accessible guide demonstrating with relatable examples that we are all capable of outstanding character, and from that outstanding marriages. I hope that I will be able to share practical tips, and talk about realistic solutions for normal, busy and tired people. I already know that comparing myself to levels of outstanding excellence is going to help me to be more humble, which is one of my ongoing life goals and one of my ongoing biggest needs.
I would love to share with you all the convoluted mental journey I’ve been on today that led me to this realisation.
However, that will need to be for another time I think. In closing this here, I would like to really emphasise this thought: every single one of us is capable of outstanding character. An outstanding marriage is a triumph of beautiful character, discipline and immense patience, and each one of us is capable of each of these things. No matter how we may have failed in any of these issues before! I am unapologetically a Bible-believing Christian and I unapologetically make the claim (from irrefutable personal experience!) that truly outstanding character is ultimately the result of a sincere relationship with God through prayer, and a desperate pursuit of Christlike character. So I am going to keep referring to the Bible, and I hope to show you with real life examples how it looks in practice when I try out these ideas in my life.
Here is a wonderful thing. This is applicable and available to each one of us at any point whatsoever, even those of us who are already married, even those of us who have made miserable mistakes or failures of our marriages thus far. Why don’t you make that decision for yourself right now, that you are going to be a wonderful and outstanding partner to your spouse, no matter how undeserving he or she might sometimes seem? (Although I will always advise you to get out of there if you are in any danger.)
So please join me, and let us push ourselves to be the very very best we could be, together! 🙂