Super-spontaneous post: YouTube video about regrets on buying homes


So… I’ve been doing quite a lot of doomscrolling on YouTube in the last few months, with a special focus on the US. This particular man whose video I am going to share below is someone I have watched quite a few times recently. So I was just listening to his video a few minutes ago while working, and he started talking about a few major regrets that homebuyers often have.

It is a long-ish video so I will start the clip below from the relevant part. In short, he said that so many people get deceived by the cosmetic or superficial things (like new paint jobs, shiny fixtures, fresh flowers, or the smell of baking bread etc) without asking the important questions about things such as plumbing, wiring, internal termite damage. These latter things are the real things that truly determine the [can’t think of the correct word right now – worthiness? strength?] functional value of a house, or what it would feel like to live there on an ongoing basis, and whether or not living there would be a great experience. And I thought wow, this is such a perfect analogy for marriage! Just like with a house, it is so easy to fall for someone’s “superficial features” such as looks, or personality, or sense of humour then find yourself having to live with their “internal structural integrity”, which is their character, or lack thereof like for instance if they are deeply self-centred. There is a saying that I heard once, that in marriage people “fall for personality, but live with character.”

And I thought back to the first time I rented a flat on my own. I remember all those questions I did not think to ask – actually, one question in particular springs to mind: “Is the flat double-glazed?” It was not, of course, and this was Edinburgh, Scotland in the winter – it was freezing. So it can be true that once you have had a negative experience, you quickly wise up about things to look out for. However, because marriage, unlike buying a house, involves a lifelong commitment, you don’t necessarily get a second chance to ask the right questions, so the best thing is to know what to ask for or look out for first time around!

So whether you are buying a house, or looking for a life partner, if you find yourself being swept off your feet, try to catch yourself in the moment, and ask yourself what superficial qualities you might be falling for. Of course, it could be that a house has excellent structural integrity and is also superficially dazzling, but as with marriage so with buying a house, superficial dazzle and charm has to be considered the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

[After writing this I feel compelled to note that I am apparently considered quite charming, and men are always falling for my smile. I hope that any future husband would take the time to evaluate my character, as I plan to do for his, so that he can know that this particular “house”, by God’s grace, is built on solid foundations, or at least the solid foundations of sincere pursuit of Christlike character, if not time management! 😂]

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