I randomly came across this post online, and on reading it immediately identified with the points made there.
15 Things Ambitious Girls Do A Little Bit Differently When They’re Dating
Not quite everything is true for me, for instance “They do what they want when they want” – this is not true as my actions are submitted in obedience to the Bible. Similarly “The idea of playing backseat to their companion is nauseating to an ambitious girl.” – that is not quite the way I would phrase that, although I think I understand and sympathise with what the writer means.
I had a read over the comments, as I like to do for articles that I relate with. To be honest I was so surprised at some of the comments that people had made. Many of the comments were positive, resoundingly affirmative. And yet a few were distinctly negative. Apparently having this straightforward approach to a relationship is being “inflexible and rigid”…someone like this merely wants a man who will be her “lapdog”. Another commenter wrote “I feel sorry for the poor, emasculated man who would end up with this type of “woman.”
I am totally amazed when I read comments like these. The article writer has clearly written that such a woman like this has goals and ambitions, and she is looking for someone who has goals and dreams of his own. Why is it that this happens so often – that people’s interpret someone’s aspiration to strength as an attack on their own strength? Because a woman wants to be strong, then that means that she wants her man to be weak. NOOOOOOOOO! I hope that this is not a very bad, tacky or inappropriate analogy to use. However, to me it is a little like dealing with issues of racism. Just because people of one ethnicity want to be strong does not mean that other people of other ethnicities have to become weak – why can’t we all be strong?
People who think like that might possibly think that there is only so much strength to go around in the world – and if I am strong, then you must become weak. Or perhaps they just take it for granted that their own “strength” depends on taking advantage of other people, so when I say that I want to be strong, then they interpret it that I want to turn the tables, to be the exploiter, to make you into the exploited.
Speaking personally for myself, as a woman who aspires to be strong, strength and ambition in my husband are things that I eagerly look for. On the other hand, ambitionlessness (if such a word exists!) is one of the most off-putting traits that a man can possess. I want a man who is dedicated to something, who has a dream for his life, who is going somewhere; something that would be sufficiently compelling for me to throw myself into, possibly even to the point of giving up my own dreams, if that becomes necessary. I love the fact that the writer of the article makes the point that it is not about how much money you earn. For me, a blind pursuit of money at all costs is totally unattractive and uninspiring. When I say “ambition”, I mean giving your life to something that matters, being fully invested, having a cause that positively makes a powerful impact people or the world around them, leaving a widely felt legacy of beauty and truth. To me, whether or not money is involved is completely irrelevant – as long as utmost integrity is upheld at each stage.
Photo of “Ambition” Chinese Radical by Alexas_Fotos on Pixabay