Marriage advice from a single woman?

This post was originally written for my weekly Facebook notes feature, called Sunday notes, on Sunday 7th November 2010

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Proverbs 8 v 1-11

Does not wisdom cry out,
And understanding lift up her voice?

She takes her stand on the top of the high hill,
Beside the way, where the paths meet.

She cries out by the gates, at the entry of the city,
At the entrance of the doors:

“To you, O men, I call,
And my voice is the to sons of men.

O you simple ones, understand prudence,
And you fools, be of an understanding heart.

Listen, for I will speak of excellent things,
And from the opening of my lips will come right things:

For my mouth will speak truth;
Wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

All the words of my mouth are with righteousness;
Nothing crooked or perverse is in them.

They are all plain to him who understands,
And right to those who find knowledge.

Receive my instruction and not silver,
And knowledge rather than choice gold;

For wisdom is better than rubies,
And all the things one may desire cannot be compared with her.
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I’ve recently come to understand/appreciate the power of meditating on Bible Scripture, the way the Bible tells us to do.  Matthew 4v4 says: “Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the word of God”.  Joshua 1v8 says: “this book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night…”.

Whenever I read the Bible, I’m always struck by the power and the resounding truth and sense of the words there.  But to be honest, I have to admit that the words do not truly reside within my heart as they should. I’ve been brought up as a Christian for my entire life, and I have read most of these passages countless times, but on reading them they often seem strange and new to me – I have not internalised them as I should have done.  I read different passages, from Proverbs, Thessalonians etc, and I think wow, how amazing it would be if these words truly defined my entire thinking, if my thinking was only made up of these Biblical doctrines – it would be unspeakably powerful.

So I’ve decided to make a start – and I have chosen the passage above as one of the first passages to truly meditate upon until it becomes part of me – it is one of my favourite Bible passages talking about the value of wisdom, and I want to be genuinely wise.  The part above is a kind of preamble, so it does not really have any detail about being wise, but I love the fact that it teaches that wisdom is readily available – I love the idea that Wisdom (personified) is shouting out loudly, in public places – it/she is not something hidden and secret and available only to a select few, but is readily available for anyone who seeks….!  ( I was going to say, “So come seek wisdom with me!” But then I decided that that sounded corny…!)

OK, moving back to my favourite subject – let’s cut to the chase, shall we?!  –  I think you all know what that is…  Today, I am asking a question – does anyone read or value my opinion on relationships, and is there any validity in advice on marriage coming from someone who is very single and has zero experience in marriage?  Naturally, I’ve been thinking my thoughts – I’ve thought about this subject so much, that in a way I don’t have to make an effort to think about it – this is one area I’ve definitely meditated on!  I guess my thinking is that marriage is something that most people expect or aspire to enter, and it is SUCH  a big deal – getting it wrong could very surely ruin your life, as so many people’s lives have been ruined.  OK, I have to throw in a Christian proviso, that when you are in Christ and God is in control of your life then nothing is ever hopeless, so no-one’s life (or marriage) is ever beyond repair.  If you are not a Christian, then you could always reach out to God. However, you would still be trying to repair a bad situation – would you not prefer to avoid it altogether?

I think that marriage is such a big deal that it is worth studying it beforehand.  In a way, this is what I have been doing.  Opening my eyes very wide to observe different people’s relationships, opening my ears when people start talking about relationships.  And it seems that many relationships follow the same trajectory – and yet, couple after couple seems to rush into it, and have the same issues –  given this, would you not carefully observe not to make those same mistakes?

However, I’m so aware that until  I myself get married, all my advice is merely a big fat wodge of theory.  This is why I am asking the question – does anyone out there read this?  Do you think there is any value in the thoughts of someone who has “merely” studied this (ad infinitum).   Let me know….  😉

Yours always, Tosin (Baby!)
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PHOTO CREDITS
Flower Image by Josch on Pixabay
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