This blog and you!

Or, who this blog is for.

Firstly, thank you for reading this blog!  I am grateful and honoured to anyone who is reading my thoughts.

Yes, this blog is about marriage, but it is also about life. As I am aspirational in both of these areas, it has often just turned out to be me writing about my marriage, and how that would fit into my life!  However, I appreciate that this is probably not very interesting to most people (although, naturally, I find my own life DEEPLY fascinating – and I can’t imagine why no-one else does!) I guess one disadvantage of writing on marriage or something else that you aspire to do is that your own hopes and dreams will almost inevitably creep into your posts.  Also, because I am not married it is not as if I can present a comprehensive list or a completed guide to successfully get you down the aisle – do this, then that etc etc, but it all sometimes feels a little nebulous or uncertain, in that I genuinely don’t know which, if any, of the friendships I have with any guys could materialise into “something more”… It’s like I’m exploring a city and reporting back my findings in “real time” and I don’t know which of the streets will turn out to be dead ends….  CONFUSED!  😉

So anyway, I am assessing once again whom this blog is for.  I think it is probably fair to say that it is not for everyone. Different people have different aspirations in life, as in marriage. For some people, it is simply automatic to grow up, and to find someone to get married to. I know that this sounds dreadful, and for me it is the opposite of my own attitude – but for some people the question of whether or not a marriage is “successful” is irrelevant – marriage for them is to be endured, or enjoyed, as a fact of life -they grow up, they marry whomsoever, they have kids, they endure.  End of!  In a way, I guess it does simplify your life immensely if you don’t have to think through all these different criteria, and you just accept that marriage is like working for someone else – often tedious, soul-destroying but usually necessary for passing through life – and you just take the first barely feasible person that comes along.

This blog is not for people who think like that.
This blog is for women, largely (men can read it, if they want to, of course, but I think from such a feminine perspective that I find it hard to shape my ideas to make them relevant for men) who are like me – ambitious in life, but who also want to get married. People who like me are intrigued by general negative statistics about marriage, that show how badly marriages usually do, and who know that it must be possible to aim for marital success by laying excellent foundations.

This blog is also not for people who think “Well, it’s not the end of the world if it does not work out.”  I personally do not believe in beating yourself up after the event, and if things do get to that place where your marriage is  hopelessly broken, the fact is you have to move on with your life. However, this is an attitude to find after the event, not before you get married.  This blog is for women like me who enter into marriage knowing that there is no option but that their marriage MUST succeed.  God says “I hate divorce” and there is no way I am letting divorce even glance my way in thinking about my future. So when I get married, it is with an understanding that THIS IS IT!  No ifs, no buts – THIS IS IT!  This is part of the reason why I have been so careful thus far and why I analyse marital issues so deeply.  Once I’m in it, I know that there will be “no going back” – so I want to make sure I get it right, first time – by God’s grace.

So I’m now going to make an extra effort to express these thoughts in a way which transcends myself and my own dreams, but is generally relevant.  Thanks for reading, and please keep reading as I keep exploring in my journey!  😉

Bible Verses:
Malachi 2v16
“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.”

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