I think that this post is relevant to anyone who might be wishing to have a marriage made in heaven, whether you are completely single or might already be married.
This was one of the blog titles that was chosen in the poll of posts to write for December. I konw that we are no longer in December, and I do apologise – I let time run away with me! This blog post talks a little about what a marriage “made in Heaven” would look like from my perspective.
For me, possibly the single most important aspect of such a marriage would be this:
When both parties are utterly committed to the pursuit of Christlike character, and fully invest themselves to be more like Jesus every day. In short: the anatomy of a Marriage made in Heaven is one where both spouses let the choice of whom to marry in the first place be made by the God who lives in Heaven, where after the wedding and during the marriage itself both spouses continually submit their minds and their characters to be shaped by the God who dwells in Heaven, where each day their thoughts, their attitudes and their interaction with one another is all directed by the God who is in Heaven; a marriage that was forged by the God in Heaven to start with and continues to be moulded by Him, every day! If you want it to be made in Heaven, then you’ve got to give the whole thing to God!
On this blog I am always talking about the importance of a spouse who is truly striving to be like Jesus. Please please understand that by doing this I am not trying to “come across” as being “super spiritual” or “super holy”. I only say these things over and over because they are the most pragmatic, practical, down-to-earth and common-sense ways to ensure a beautiful and a peaceful marriage for yourself. Sometimes even as Christians we can tend to treat the Bible as if its teachings are “airy-fairy” or poetically impractical, impossible. If you have not done so already, I strongly strongly urge you to pick up a Bible and challenge yourself to take its teachings at face value, to simply do what it says. Where the Bible says “love”, then actually love! (I know, I’m such a radical, aren’t I?!!!) I am not married myself, I have never been married, but no-one needs to tell me that sheer marital bliss would look like a husband who pursues Christlike character as outlined in the Bible. Imagine a man who is drenched in love, and is constantly finding fresh and creative ways to pour out that love upon me! Imagine a man whose character is saturated with kindness, who seeks to encourage and build up at all times. A man who is always seeking peace, so that he will always be the first one to make amends, even if he is not necessarily “in the wrong” – and a man who is incredibly patient, so that even through all his wife’s flaws he will not compare her glaring weaknesses with his own magnificent strengths and find her shockingly wanting, but rather, will humbly keep encouraging her to be her best – because as you all know, patience is my own greatest strength – not! Obviously it works both ways, so imagine now where the wife is also doing the same things, with the same commitment, where in this marriage this couple are competing to serve one another: Romans 12v10
I was thinking to myself just today that this is the kind of spouse that I want to be: I want to be able to sincerely tell my husband: By God’s grace I will always be there for you! I always want to be a source of love and encouragement to you. I want to be a “no matter what” wife: no matter what our marriage sees, no matter what…anything.
On my other blog, I have recently had cause to start evaluating my own character against the fruit of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5v22-23. I’ve only done a few fruits so far, but already it is not good. I’m also quite sure that for the remaining fruits it won’t be much better. This would not bode well for getting married. I have always placed a very high importance on my own marriage so I know that I would try extra hard with my husband, because he is my husband. However it is inevitable that who I really am, my true character would slowly but surely start to seep out to hurt even him. So I am going to work on it until by the grace of God my character is outstanding by any assessment, no matter who is evaluating me, or how strict they choose to be, and until I can be the kind of wife in whom a husband would truly delight. There is simply no way I can allow myself to sit here writing this particular blog, hammering endlessly on the importance of character, only to turn out to be a dreadful spouse myself. No baby! (Quick disclaimer – once again, I’m writing this post kinda late at night!)
Heaven and Hell are not geographic entities!
I was thinking about this earlier, and it occurred to me that Heaven is Heaven because it is submitted to the rule and reign of God. God’s values reign there: values of love, joy, kindness, justice, grace etc. So as a spouse I would represent “heaven” to my husband only if God’s values truly reign in my life. Conversely hell is hell because it is reigned by values which are opposite God’s values: lies, discord, chaos. Furthermore I believe that what is in our hearts directs our actions to create the environment around us. So when Heaven is reigning in my heart the environment I will unconsciously create around me will resemble Heaven. So when the two of us in a marriage want to have “Heaven on Earth”, then the values of heaven have to reign in both our hearts. I think that this is what Jesus meant when He said “The Kingdom of God is within you” Luke 17v21. So we replicate the Kingdom of God and extend it (or otherwise) by the values that we allow to reign in our hearts.
So then I guess this post gives two ways in which a Marriage might be made in Heaven:
1. Firstly, by giving the entire marriage over to God in the first place so that He controls it, He initiates it etc
2. Secondly, by letting the values of God and of Heaven reign in our hearts, so that the environment that we create around ourselves and our marriage might resemble Heaven!
This is obviously what I want for my marriage! I want to be a spouse who replicates heaven through my thoughts and actions, and I want those beautiful values of love, joy, peace and grace to flow unendingly between my husband and myself. So Lord, I’m praying that You will now give me the man who is also striving for this himself, where everything about him is completely directed by God, so that interacting with us either as individuals, or as a couple, would be like having a little taste of Heaven!
Galatians 5v22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Romans 12v10: Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another…
PHOTO CREDITS Photo of sunset skies from Pixabay ———————————————————————–