Well I’ve got some news for anyone who might follow this blog…
I’m thinking of stopping or reducing blog posts on this blog, at least for a while. I have to emphasise that I am only just thinking of this, and the idea only occurred to me yesterday.
As I’ve said many times, I love writing for this blog. I hope that other people find my thoughts and analyses useful. However, I write largely for myself, as a way of getting things and ideas clear in my head.
My reason I am thinking of stopping my activity on this blog is as follows:
On my other blog I recently explained that I’ve started getting involved in the Business Startup Scene. It has been really good, and for some inexplicable reason I have been beaming to myself endlessly. Even as I write this I can’t stop myself from smiling. I’m guess that in a place where I’m feeling positive about interactions with people, experiencing great things and expecting further great things.
Writing this Huggie-Wuggie blog keeps me in a place where I am constantly thinking about hugs etc, and my own loneliness. I know that if I were to continue thinking about these things endlessly, then they would be reflected in the way I interact with these new people.
These new business interactions are so valuable to me that I don’t want to jeopardise them by actingly strangely or crazily. So that is why I am thinking that the best alternative might be to suspend or reduce activity on this blog, at least for now. It is one thing to pour out these feelings when I am sitting at home, by myself, behind my computer screen all day every day; it is quite another when I actually start going out meeting real people!
And then there is also the fact that I am currently feeling the lack of a strong and deep Christian social circle in my life. If I felt strongly grounded in a deep circle of Christian friends then I would feel “fortified” regarding my interactions within this startup scene, where these fellow startup entrepreneurs are generally not Christians. It also occurred to me recently that if I were to write for this blog even after getting married, then I would similarly need my marriage to be outstanding. Otherwise, the difference between what was being written and the reality being experienced would fill me with pangs of disappointment! All of this is like I’ve been describing how to prepare and present a delicious meal, even though I myself am absolutely starving. Well I guess I am having to acknowledge that writing this just makes me too hungry, and makes me too obsessed with how hungry I am!
So these are the words of a decision that sensibly looks on my current situation. However, I am very much hoping that I’ll be able to think of a way where I will not after all need to stop writing for this blog. I am going to leave the blog up and available. However, I am also aware that it is not currently organised in the useable state that I would like. Ultimately I would love it if everyone was able to quickly find posts that are most suitable for his/her current situation, and if it was organised in an appropriately intuitive format… Additionally my mind is currently full of post ideas which I have not had a chance to sit down to type out.
So all told, I really need to sit down and think through some things. I am praying. However, I don’t know whether the answer is that I need to pray more, get more grounded in God, becoming totally satisfied in God, until the stage where I can think and type about these things without personally feeling my own needs too deeply… Hmm!
Thank you to everyone for reading this blog, and I do hope that I will be able to come back soon!
A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself,
But the simple pass on and are punished.
Photo of Hyacinths by Pezibear on Pixabay