Shyness, post script

Like a cascading torrent!
Like a cascading torrent!

As a postscript to my previous post, there were a few extra things that occurred to me later.  I must admit that these thoughts are pretty much directed exclusively towards a certain someone!

You know what, if I were to be really bold I would actually come right out and challenge you. I am the person you were referring to those times, am I not?!  I would list all the different references.  I know it is kinda presumptuous of me to be so confident when you did not actually identify me specifically (so theoretically it could be anyone!)  However I know I am right, aren’t I?!  As soon as I heard those words I instantly knew that I was the one you were referring to. (Actually, on reflection that is not right!  What happened is that I instantly suspected that to my amazement, I might be the person you were referring to. It did take me a while but eventually I let myself accept that you were actually, definitely talking about me…and then I grew more and more convinced on hearing the future references…and looking back now it feels as if I have been convinced forever!) Anyway, on finally accepting it I was simply amazed!  I know that I am the one that you are referring to as surely as I know that you have been praying for me – and not only that one single time either!
So yeah, as I say, if I were to be really bold, I would just come straight out and challenge you.  However, I am not going to do that. The truth is that I am not ready for that conversation yet, and all the deep heavy things that it would involve and so on. I would rather just enjoy some lighthearted and uncomplicated friendliness for now – at least for a few months! But you know what, when the time comes I would be more than happy to come straight out and ask you.
I don’t know – would that be too forward of me?  Should I just wait for you to broach the subject?  I am so happy to wait for you to bring it up, or to ask me interesting questions about my own blog!  I think that that is what I will do, just wait for you to bring it up!  But here’s the thing though – if the subject comes up before I feel ready to discuss it, then I’m thinking that I’ll go ahead, discuss it, admit everything, but then still ask to put the thing on hold, if you know what I mean?!  If you don’t know what I mean, then I will explain it to you then!

If it so happens that you do want to talk about it right now, then please please do!!!! 😉
At any rate, please don’t keep me waiting too long, otherwise trust me, I will come straight out and ask you!  I guess this is one of those things where you have to be carefully reading one another’s attitude, or subtly dropping hints…continually asking that question, subtly – are you ready?!  Is it time?! Unfortunately I am very bad at hinting, which is why I prefer to be completely candid, always! I guess that something to hope for or to pray towards is that you and I would be ready at around the same time, and if one of us is ready first, then that person could pray for the other person to catch up!

Oh yeah, something else I was going to ask you – does God tell you everything about my life?!  Do you know much more about me than you choose to reveal?! Recently I specifically asked God not to tell you everything about my life, but then God is after all God, and He’s very much the boss of this thing as much as He’s the boss of everything.  So it may well be that in His wisdom He reveals things to you that I’d rather that you did not know just yet!  It is not that I would hide these things forever, it is just that I do not necessarily feel ready to share them just yet! That said, I am sure that there might be a few things that I might know about you that you have not specifically shared with me, knowledge that goes beyond even my determined Facebook/general online stalking investigation, so perhaps it works both ways!  😉

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