This is the second part to this post. The first is available here
And then naturally, I also need that he should adore me. However, that is primarily so that I would not feel as if I am forcing my feelings on a reluctant victim. Ultimately all of this is about a need to adore rather than a need to be adored. I suspect that that is quite unusual. I think that people generally say that women need to be adored. Thankfully I am quite secure in this. I just need a tangible and willing person on whom to bestow all the adoration that exists in my own heart. God is great, obviously. However He is just not that tangible! I cannot gaze into His eyes!
I was just thinking today (for only about the millionth time) that there is just something about men (handsome young men, that is!) that just seems made for adoration. They are so strong! The way they just effortlessly lift things that to me seem to weigh a metric tonne! Sometimes I just want to look at a particularly admirable specimen and say with such awe in my voice: “You are so strong!” (No, I am not thinking of anyone in particular as I write, this, naturally – blush blush!) They have such big strong hands! I have to say I am very grateful for my own hands, which by the grace of God are very strong and capable. However, there is obviously no way they could ever compete with the size and strength of a man’s hands. How I wish that God would give me my own man so that I could tell him how strong his hands are! And then again men often have this easy, casual boldness and grace about them (although I have noticed that this does tend to be more common with the more attractive men!) Sometimes I just want to give myself over to staring and just think “wow”! I guess that that is one of the advantages of marriage, to just give yourself over to shamelessly admiring that masculine strength. And while we are talking about strength, let us not forget the strong huggie-wuggie arms. (Tosin floats off once again into her dreamy cloud!) All that said, I hope I might equally fascinate my man in my own small way!
This is somewhat less positive, but still on a related note, I definitely need to go and fill my heart up with Bible, big time – as I have just described in my other blog post. Otherwise I fear I might not be quite as careful as I usually am about controlling my smile (about which I am usually so careful!) in the direction of one particular pair of strong hands, attached to one particular pair of strong arms – strong, but not exactly used to wielding a Bible, if you know what I mean! (By all this I am of course “secretly” admitting that the smile has already been unleashed*, it has already wrought its predictable havoc, it is now a matter of cultivating and asserting appropriate Christian sentiments, without also “accidentally” letting myself express any inappropriate undercurrents!) Clearly I cannot cultivate the thought of a man “whose hands are not exactly used to wielding a Bible” (no matter how strong he, or those hands are…or even if he refers to himself as being a man of faith – which he doesn’t do!) I just wish Mr Strong and Wonderful and Holy and Thoroughly-Conversant-with-God’s-Word would hurry up and turn up! 😉 (Now naturally “a certain someone” is going to read this blog post, and I am going to have to make my eyes as wide and innocent as saucers, and pretend from my attitude that I was not talking about him! Reminding myself for the millionth time: I MUST NOT use my blog to indirectly flirt with guys that I am not supposed to be flirting with! Obviously I MUST NOT use this blog to flirt with anyone, period…)
Anyway, ahem, to the Bible! 😉
*Actually on reflection, it might be more accurate to say that the smile has already been leaked – by a tiny amount, rather than fully unleashed. (To be fair to myself, the circumstances made this leaking totally unavoidable. What is certainly avoidable is getting deeper and deeper, and leaking more and more…) By the grace of God, I’ve only made the mistake of a full smile “unleashing” once in my life, towards one certain individual, whose hands were apparently equally unaccustomed to wielding the Bible. Thankfully in that situation, it was only the smile that was unleashed, not for instance, my dancing prowess (ahem!) However, such was the force of that *single* unleashing that to this day I think I’d still have to avoid that man if ever I saw him. Sometimes something you do just once can change your life forever.
To come back to this more present situation, I think I’m discovering that when it comes to smiles between the genders, even a tiny “leak” can go a very long way. And then of course we have to remember that men were also given their own smiles by God – how arrogant it would be of me to imply or suggest that damage could only be caused in one direction…
Anyway, ahem, to the Bible! 😉
Picture of hands reading Bible by BlazeJosh on Pixabay