Why we need each other!
Well I recently wrote a post where I thanked an unknown someone for praying for me. I’ve been meaning to write a follow-up post to that one for a while. In short, because of a drastically new mindset that suddenly and inexplicably revealed itself to me, I was certain that someone had prayed for me, and because of what that mindset was, I even felt able to identify to myself who that pray-er may have been. Even if I am right that someone prayed, there is still a chance that I may be wrong about the identity of the pray-er, or I may just be gloriously wrong altogether, of course. However, even as I write this, I remain sure that a. Someone did pray and b. It was who I suspected all along.
So then the follow up post is to deal with the question of whether this person or other people, might still be praying for me. The short answer is: I am not sure! In that first incident it seemed so obvious that someone was praying because this new mindset just came out of the blue! However, since then, I’ve been observing exciting new mindsets/different ways of thinking, which are not so unrelated to what I’ve already been thinking about. So something will occur to me about humility, for instance, with just the right amount of “radical new perspective”, for me to start getting excited and asking “Is this “simply” from God, or is it a result of thoughts I’ve been having or could someone be praying?!!!!” While I would love to think that someone “out there” could be praying for me, (and someone potentially romantically exciting at that!) I am scared to categorically declare that this is the case, in case it is just a case of wishful thinking! The amusing flipside to all of this is that now I am scared of praying for someone, in case they are able to work out that I am the one praying!
So anyway, that in a nutshell is the follow-up post, so I guess I don’t have to write it any longer!
This post however deals with something connected to that.
Well it recently happened that one of these radical new mindsets occurred to me, and as before with the other incident, where I am sure that someone was praying for me, this related to a gracious way of thinking of people, in a situation where I had unceremoniously written off the people concerned, and where I was 100% percent sure I was right. A dazzling new perspective occurred to me: Yes, these people had done these bad things and would consistently, predictably act in these ways again, and yes, perhaps to a certain extent I was justified in not being able to consider them as brothers and sisters in Christ, even though they profess Christian faith. This following was the radical bit: Even if I might not be able to consider them Christians, this simply means that instead of writing them off, I am to consider them like everyone else whom Christ died for, and I am to be as gracious and loving towards them as I would be towards anyone else whom I would not consider a Christian, longing and wishing for them to come to a true understanding of Christ.
This thought blew me away, and once again it completely changed my mindset – instantly. And then something else occurred to me. I invest lots of time into prayer and reading the Bible – not so much recently though, to be totally honest. But it finally occurred to me that even if I were to spend every waking second immersed into God’s word and prayer, there would still be some things that would be outside my field of vision, that I would simply not see or understand, that others might be able to see straight away. Up until now I guess I had always assumed that if I’d only pray hard enough I would understand (by myself) everything that is necessary for me to understand about life, and working for God and living for God. So then my determination has always been to pray “hard enough”.
So this thought struck me with a kind of excitement.
On this blog I’ve been vacillating from the beginning regarding this question: “Do I need a husband?!”
On one hand, I am of course aware of all the beautiful things that marriage offers. On the other hand, I am also very aware of the costs of marriage, the necessary sacrifices of marriage – and also too of the huge potential of marital misunderstandings. And then I am also aware of the benefits of singleness. And let’s not forget of course – which gender “has” to submit to which one?!
So my default answer has always been: “Yes of course I would love a husband, but I don’t feel as if I actually need one!”
Of late though, I must admit that I’ve been tending towards the answer “Yes!” regarding this question, and my more recent blog posts reflect that. But then thinking about this particular issue, and the fact that there are still gaps in my spiritual vision, even when I give all that I can possibly give – this is what would finally, conclusively tip me over the edge. Yes, I’ve always wanted this thing, but now I see that even in spiritual matters, even in this area where I think myself to be very grounded, I need someone else’s perspective to attain even basic Biblical standards.
And you know what?! That thought actually makes me feel happy, that God created us in this way to need one another. If I am sitting here realising that despite my natural self-sufficiency, I actually do need someone else in this particular area where I feel most self-sufficient, then perhaps there is equally someone out there who is realising at this moment that he cannot be as self-sufficient as he’d always assumed, that he might actually need me! (Ironically, it has always been precisely because of the intimacy that I pursue with God that I’ve always felt that ultimately I don’t need a husband!)
The Bible does say that singleness is a valid and legitimate life-choice, so perhaps not every unmarried person needs this. Perhaps all of this is to show me that I need it! Or maybe it is like this: that singleness is a great default position for anyone, and it is only when you meet someone where together you would bring a sum increase into one another’s life, that you can consider yourself to need that particular person. So it is not that I need “a husband”, but rather I need that particular man with his vision, his understanding, his insights, his perspectives, his prayer life….
In this particular incident of course there is the fact that I obviously need to know a lot more about whoever this may be, if indeed it is someone maritally eligible, get to know him very well, before we can truly evaluate for ourselves that yes indeed, we do need each other.
1 Corinthians 7v8 (NIV):
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
Photo of butterflies by Hans on Pixabay
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