Church V Marriage part 2

You don’t genuinely care, about me, or God.  You are just interested in adding some extra multicultural kudos to your prayerless gathering, to further your agenda of being seen as the most “popular” or “successful” church in the city.

Even in serving other people, it is OK to be aware of your own needs, of course.  However, I will require people to genuinely care about me
Campaign – “there was no campaign, Tosin!”  Well perhaps not an official one, just like I’m sure that there is no official campaign to restrict Black people from leadership in predominantly White churches.  And yet consistently, predictably, in every White church that I’ve been to, and every White church I’ve been aware of…Oops, I’m not supposed to say that, am I? 

Start suspecting that these friendships were never real friendships.  Rather they were merely vehicles to use to constantly invite me to their churches.

PLEASE STOP INVITING ME TO YOUR CHURCH!
I’ve said it so clearly that I cannot regard your church highly.  I’ve also said that I cannot spiritually respect you for considering that church a legitimate expression of Christian fellowship.  If you cannot hear this, it is because you are not listening.  

As if I’m expected to remain excited about our dating days, if I should ever grow to discover that my husband is a walking “glass ceiling”.

Lots of exciting packaging, tightly bound up.  Taking ages to unwrap the thing, to reveal a loaf or bread that is riddled with mould – and finding that I am committed to that for life – and expecting me to remain excited about the packaging. If anything I would only be more angry about the packaging, because it was deliberately deceiving; I’d also be annoyed about the time I had to spend unpacking it.  ow I’m in the position of saying “Just show me what’s in the box! – please!
versus opening a simply wrapped package to find rainbows, and smiles, and butterflies, and sweet dreams.

Obviously a beautiful package could also hold a beautiful gift, while a simple package could also hold a poor gift.  It is all about the content, which is why I would say Please concentrate on the content.  Either way, I don’t care, please save your money, just show me what’s in the box.  If we do eventually get married then your money will become my money! All the more reason to save it beforehand so that we can invest it into more worthwhile endeavours. We can always have dating and excitement later. Go out to find beautiful packaging when you’ve made sure that the contents are worth packaging beautifully.

Just friends?
You know how it can be so hard to go back to being “just friends” with someone after you have been in a relationship with them?  So it can often be with church.  People apparently struggle to grasp that you have left the “relationship” and you don’t want to go back.  Every gesture of friendship on your part is taken as an indication that you would be interested in resuming the relationship, so they grab every opportunity to re-invite you to their church

Unfortunately my mind was not agile enough to quickly process the issues around these churches and these Christians. Additionally, it would annoy me so much when people kept inviting me back to these churches, when I’ve already made my views on the churches quite clear.  So ultimately, I have simply unfriended most of the people in these churches.  Actions speak louder than words, especially when people act like they can’t hear what you are saying. Stop inviting me to your church!  And I’ve discovered that when you break off all avenues of communication, there is no way they can directly invite you back, or indeed have any further communication.  Drastic, but necessary, I have found!

PASTORS CAN “MARRY” everyone
Leadership/authority – cannot understand why you might not consider them suitable

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