This is the second part to this post. The first is available here
*My husband has to aspire to be greater than I work and hope to be – if I am to submit to him in everything, then I don’t think it is outrageous to suggest that he should aspire to be greater than me in everything. If this is not possible or realistic, then surely it should be OK to state that he should aspire to generally be greater than me. And I plan to try my hardest to be as great as I can possibly be. I don’t want to have to pretend to be smaller than I am, eg by kneeling down, so that he can think he is bigger than me. Rather I want to stretch out to my full height, stand on my tiptoes and grow as fast as I can at any time, without worrying about towering over him – all metaphorically speaking! When I say “great”, first and foremost I don’t mean any kind of achievement as such, but rather a level of commitment to Christ, and the manifestations of these in life.
Oh yes – I can’t believe I forgot this. I made up my mind to pursue God with all my determination a number of years ago. From that time, I can trace a number of “exciting” experiences that I’ve been through. I don’t want to elaborate, but I hope that someone else who has seen similar things will know what I mean. I think that my husband should also have seen a few things which he can directly trace to the level of his commitment, otherwise I know that I would find it hard to respect him.
(Perhaps, actually, I might look back on myself in a few years time and laugh at myself, at the fact that I thought I had seen things….and realise that I had not experienced anything, really.)
OK, so these ideas listed above are my “impossible” dreams, relating to the fact that I want to be the best I can be in life, even to the extent of dreaming impossible dreams. Sometimes I think the most “impossible” aspect of this is finding a man who dreams at the same level I do. I mean, how hard can it be? I only need someone who takes God and His Bible and its promises as seriously as I do…
These following ideas are possibly a little more “down to earth” – but just as important!
*I want someone who thinks. I like to think through ideas. Something I have always yearned after in marriage is someone to talk through deep issues with, to have deep intellectual arguments with. This requires someone who genuinely thinks through issues as deeply as I do
*I want someone who reads. Books with words on the title page like “Bible” (of course) but not only Bible, also “Leviathan”, “Dostoyevsky”… “Machiavelli” – not that I have actually read any of these myself! (Still got two Parts to finish of Crime and Punishment…Oh very well, yes I have read “War and Peace”, if we’re going to go there!!! Second attempt…took me approx 3 months doing practically nothing else in that time…possibly the single biggest achievement of my life so far, no exaggeration (after the privilege of an excellent education)! But anyway….ahem…we don’t necessarily need to go there!***)
If none of these latter ones, then definitely, definitely the Bible. If that is the only book he sees, or he has time for, or he makes a priority, then so be it. But he actually has to read it!
*I would love to have someone who is adventurous. Someone who wants to travel, to see the world, to examine different cultures. I am the kind of person who would love to go everywhere in the world, and see everything. I know that technically it is very possible to do this while single, but I always think it would be nicer to have someone to share it with. And I have previously travelled with my sisters, my Mother, and my female cousin, and these have been very nice. However, you can hardly share a romantic holiday with your sister, can you?!
*but not too adventurous – I hate getting caught in cold rain, and getting my head wet – why I live where I do is anybody’s guess!
*Someone athletic – Tosin is thinking ultra-healthy cycling holidays – even though my own cycling skills are basic, to say the least, and I still have not worked out how to use gears to get uphill etc. Still, one can always dream, right?!
*This might sound a little strange, but I want someone who is equally comfortable wearing native attire (as in Nigerian clothes, or clothes from whichever country he’s from) as wearing a suit and tie. Same goes for being able to communicate with people in traditional community gatherings, whether in his own language or not, and also being able to communicate professionally.
It’s because these two aspects of life are quite important for me – perhaps I am drawing a false distinction between these two. However, it is very important for me to be able to maintain links with my culture, as well as communicate professionally, and feel equally fluent and comfortable in both of these environments. And I also want a husband who “gets” this, that it is not a matter of “either /or” but rather “both/and”…
*Someone who loves to eat. And is willing to try out tastes from different countries. I don’t want someone who is always screwing up his nose at unusual flavours or who thinks that “Nigerian food is the only real food”. I already feel myself getting immensely frustrated.
*I am sure that there are a million other characteristics that I have thought about and mentally noted at some point or the other, but I cannot think of any other ones at the moment.
*But there is one further characteristic that I can think of. Yes, I know I have said it before, but I think it bears repeating –
he has to be cute, in that he has to have a nice smile. Say what you like!
OK, so these are a few extra essential characteristics. I’m sure I’ll remember loads more shortly.
You know what? For someone who wants so much, I should be praying A LOT harder than I am! 😉
***I am very sorry for using this post to brag about having read “War and Peace”. But what, I ask you, is the point of going to the trouble of reading “War and Peace” if you cannot oh-so-casually slot it into conversation?! I put it to you, that that is the very reason that “War and Peace” actually exists!
“The original Russian?”, you ask?! Well actually, that was going to be my next challenge – ha ha ha! 😉
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
Photo of Sailing boats by Piper on Pixabay