So the fifth anniversary of this blog occurred all the way back in March! That’s five years of thinking about marriage, and thinking what I can do beforehand to best maximise my chances of a wonderful marriage.
I would like to thank everyone who has been reading this blog. I find it so therapeutic to sit here and think through these ideas, and I am so excited to think that these ideas could help other people too
Thinking back, I am grateful for so many insights that have impacted my own life so powerfully. I am probably the biggest consumer of this blog myself, in that I re-read articles or I even forget different ideas and I come back to this blog to re-read them.
Something else that I am so grateful for is this: that I still find value and strength in those very first posts. I really hope it is fair to say that these posts represent God’s wisdom, at least for me, and writing them out has truly helped me to understand not merely about marriage and relationships, but perhaps even more importantly, myself. Perhaps this is why I love this blog so much – writing here has led me on a personal journey of self-discovery. In a way it has been so exciting (but also so scary!) to learn to be radically honest with myself, and then to share this with anyone who might be reading. It is definitely no exaggeration to say that this entire blog is a love letter not only to my future husband, but even to myself – possibly more to myself. This is because in these posts I get to work out who I am, present this to the world, and then try to imagine a beautiful future involving someone interacting with the real me. If I was not already madly in love with myself (and I was – totally!), I hope it is fair to say that over the course of writing this blog I have definitely fallen deeply in love with myself. That phrase “being in love with yourself” is often used negatively. However I don’t think that it is a bad thing because part of knowing myself is knowing and acknowledging my own faults and not being afraid to admit my failings – sometimes these are quite drastic failings. Being “in love with myself” means that even with my failings, I am still hugely excited by the person that I am, that God has created me to be, and by the life that He has created me to live. Being “in love with myself” means that I am hopefully and excitedly looking forward to marriage, so very much. However, even without marriage I am still utterly excited that my life as a single woman is still a thing of tremendous beauty, purpose and power in and of itself, even while I’m by myself – before I get married, or even if I end up never actually finding and marrying “Mr Huggie-Wuggie”.
So once again I would like to thank all readers for reading “Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie”. The last five years have been a powerful revelation for me! However, I encourage you to do more than sit here and read my personal love letter to myself. Write your own! I encourage everyone reading this to pick up their pens, or their computer keyboards, and start writing honestly to themselves about who they are, and who they want to be. A blog format is very powerful because you can do a little at a time, expressing what is occurring to you at that moment. You don’t need to make it public, as I have done, although I believe that there is extra empowerment that comes from sharing it with the world. If you are feeling a bit inadequate, please remember that God deliberately created you as an individual to be utterly amazing and to share incredible love with others in fantastic and tender friendships and romantic relationships.
As I write this, it occurs to me that my future husband also has to be totally in love with himself* in that he has to be genuinely excited about who he is, and the life that he hopes to live, and he has to boldly invite me into that picture! I want a man whose heart is full of joy and optimism and who loves to laugh and who eagerly expects great things in life! I’ve already used the word “excited” so many times in this post. I guess this is because I as a person love to be excited, especially about my own life! I mean the confident, positive anticipation of great things. I love the image of me and Huggie-Wuggie sitting talking late about our various dreams, our eyes gleaming with…excitement, bouncing ideas off one another, building one another’s ideas up, getting so energised, and then throwing ourselves into seeing these amazing things happen!
*Actually that thought has occurred to me so many times before today, but before today I’ve never been able to articulate it as being excited about himself or being in love with the incredible person that God has called him to be, and eagerly inviting me into that excitement that he feels about his own life.
Before I got sidetracked into thinking about how wonderful life could be, I also wanted to express this thought: that I sometimes worry that I might be overthinking this whole marriage thing; perhaps ultimately what will happen will happen, and even with all these thoughts, and considerations God will just do His thing or events will simply unfold “in real time” and we’ll have to make the best of them as they unfold!