I think that this idea would be most helpful for people who are married *******************************************
This is really cute. I have been asking myself for a while: is happiness in marriage largely a case of feeling happy in the marriage? If so, might there be ways of encouraging positive thoughts about your marriage that might help you to keep feeling positive about the whole thing? This is an idea that I had: to simply keep a gratitude journal about your spouse; each day to write down 10 things that you are grateful for about them, and then also to tell them! I think that it would help in helping to cultivate positive thoughts towards your spouse, and also in making your spouse feel appreciated and valued, especially if, for instance, the marriage is experiencing tough times in some way or the other. I think that it would help so that even if your spouse is temporarily exhibiting some negative behaviour, on the whole you can remind yourself and them that they are a lovely person. If you have ever kept a gratitude journal before, then you will know that writing out and focusing on reasons to be happy actually helps you to feel happy and positive and optimistic!
In telling them, this is what occurred to me: not necessarily reciting the full list of 10 things all at once, but rather looking for relevant opportunities to offer the thoughts throughout the day so that it becomes a constant drip of admiration and respect, communicated in a way that is natural, accessible and meaningful for both of you: “I really love how you do this…. You have got such incredible…. I am so grateful to God for making our paths cross!” I also think that a physical journal is a great idea for this particular reason: so that you can read back through previous entries, possibly from years and years ago and remember how touched you were by those small gestures of kindness and consideration. And then you can also share these things with them, and then hopefully watch the grin spread across their face: “You know what? I was remembering that time when you…thank you so much for doing that!” And then those conversations can spark memories of other times you’ve shared, other challenges you’ve come through together, or you might even laugh together about things that previously caused furious arguments, and then you can walk off hand in hand, grateful for your shared past, and hopeful for a shared future. In all, it helps to cultivate a sense of perspective about your relationship: this is where we are now, and these are the amazing places we have already been to together!
This is an idea that is quite simple, and definitely something that by God’s grace I definitely hope and plan to do with my own husband. I would like to keep a record of positive things that he does each day, and things that I am grateful for. There is nothing fixed about the number 10, of course: someone could possibly write down as many things as they can think of. But I think that 10 is a good number of things to start with because I’m thinking that by the time you get to no. 10 on your list of positive things, your attitude towards him would almost certainly have brightened even if you had been a little cross with him beforehand. And then a list of 10 things is also doable and manageable for each day, although you could of course carry on to write as many further things as you can think of for that day. I also think that it would be so touching, if the two of you are in the midst of a raging argument, and you cannot really face him, if you wrote out a note for him: “You know what, I am really angry right now. However, I want you to know that there are so many things I love about you and am grateful for in you. I love how you ….and how you…and how you…”
If someone wrote this to me with real sincerity, I think that I would cry. In fact, I am crying a little as I write this. I am such a crybaby! 😉
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
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